I knew I wasn't free and clear yet...this weekend was almost normal, but only as long as I stayed home resting (though I did manage to shower, and to do my hair, albeit sitting down. Nope, didn't get the grey covered, but I did make the rest look rich and shiny...) mostly.
Yeah, no dishes. I wanted to, but...dishes don't make me happy when I look in the mirror, so they didn't win the toss-up. The shower, that was absolutely necessary, lol.
Fortunately, I don't have problems with showers, at least, not yet. They actually help actually, when I can't get warm. My toes and hands were HA-PPy! I did have a scary moment though, were my head felt kind of funny. That's been happening a bit lately...First time when I was leaving the clinic last week, my head had been feeling that creepy cold feeling, and then when i went outside, I ended up sitting down halfway through the courtyard, to rest for a bit, and my forehead felt kind of numb and tingly, it was bizarre.
Today, I got some cash, so I went out to the poor person's lifesaver; the 99 cents store. Almost didn't make it that far though, because first I went to the grocery store to get some Muscle Milk, and a couple other things. I guess I browsed a little too much though? Well not really...Maybe I drank the Muscle Mlik too fast. I was hot & hungry. The 99 Cents store was practically across the street, but just the process of pulling out of my parking spot (busy shopping center) and driving there wore me out. And on the way there my head started feeling weird again. Well, I was determined, and I recovered a bit after awhile of lying back with my knees scrunched up...and I tried to keep the walking to a minimum but it's hard not to check out every aisle, you never know what they're going to have or not, and when I'm tired I tend to miss things or zone out so I might have to look a couple of times to be sure...One more quick stop across the other street, and I was on on my way home, drenched in sweat. exhausted, and feeling unwell. I remembered halfway (which isn't that far) that I forgot to pick up dinner, I'd promised to treat myself, but all I wanted to do was get home and rest. Not big on food lately anyhow.
It's kind of shocking for me to realize, WOW. I seriously am that weak again. It isn't THAT unusual that this type of outing might tire me out a bit, but...back to the drenched in sweat for no good reason thing, feeling that desperate to lie down...I guess it's a testament to how persistent I can be in my delusional insistence on forgetting the bad and focusing on the good days. Give me a few good days and I start to think maybe I was just being a big baby before. Nah. I was just worse. I'm starting to get that. The bright side is, there's always good days...eventually!
Well I went home and rested a couple hours and felt better. Couldn't decide if I should go get my dinner or not though...between having little energy, nothing appetizing, dirty dishes, wanting to lose weight, and feeling sick more than half the times I eat, I haven't been that big on food lately. But I really love Indian food, I mean ADORE it, and it's sooo cheap, and I didn't have the sense to buy anything yummy to eat at the store earlier...didn't really want to be starving at 10pm and have to figure something out, especially if I didn't feel well. So finally I went. Took the very light trash out in my cart, because I got so tired bringing the bags I had in earlier, and had water to bring in later. But I got tired just dumping the trash!
I felt worse when I got there, didn't know what to expect, either, since the place had moved to a new place, the whole hating to be stared at, and people in Indian restaurants never seem to know what to make of me...but once I stepped in and saw all the rows & rows of foreign food in the grocery section, I was just sad I couldn't stay and browse! The guy at the food counter was so smiley I felt like I had to make the effort to be lively and bubbly. Well, it was a good idea, not only did it make me feel normal for a bit, but it got me a huge portion of food I wanted that they had already put away, AND a double portion of desert, for free!!! But the effort had me sweating bullets. I got to the car (almost stopped to sit at the tables outside) and wanted to lie down but figured I should just hurry up & go. It was unusually challenging to get the car in gear AND the e-brake off for some reason, but I did it. That's when the headache started. Oy. It's been awhile since I had POTS w/headaches, usually that's only when it's really bad and my blood pressure's super low on standing and I almost pass out repeatedly. It was kind of different though, I had this pain and pressure in the middle of my upper forehead. (I think it's the same place that hurts when I get a headrush and almost pass out, feels like it's squeezing my eyes or something.) So weird, not sure I've ever had it sitting before, at least not this sharp, so I'm driving, hoping this doesn't mean I'm about to pass out...but I figured my best bet was to punch it. Home was close and I didn't even have to change lanes at that point, & all was well.
I seriously don't know how people with Dysautonomia who fully pass out do it. When I think of passing out in the shower...bad stuff can happen like that! Some of it painful and bloody, and dangerous to boot. I think if I passed out in the shower, I'd be afraid to take one not sitting for like, ever...
So anyways, ate my food. It was AMAZING. Naan & yellow & white basmati rice, okra, peas & paneer, the most amazing Samosa I've ever tasted, w/a lovely sweet/sour chutney...tart pickled veggies...I only ate half, so plenty for tomorrow's dinner, and I was absolutely stuffed but was dying for my dessert, Gulab Jamun, these amazing little pastries made out of dry milk and soaked in rosewater syrup till they're soggy...sounds weird, but trust me, it's delicious... so I had it and was even more stuffed. So of course, I'm miserable now. Tachycardia, chest pain, have to be lying down, and yup, headache's back. I was good for a bit though!
Oh. I forgot about something. I was feeling annoyed earlier because I wish I could just gulp Gatorade, but all the citric acid in it irritates my stomach (acid reflux) and IC, so no go. So at the 99 Cents Store, I happened upon Bubble Gum Pediatric Electrolyte Replacement drink. (I'd also been thinking yesterday about how much I liked Bubble Gum flavored anti-biotics as a kid, weird, I know) so I had to get some, even though it had citric acid (less than 2%) in the ingredients...I totally expected it to be gross...but it was yummy, and could barely taste the citric acid, it was really light....I'm so going back there later this week! I love my water, but it's hard to drink a lot for some reason, much less with baking soda and salt and sugar in it, ugh!
So those of you that have POTS, try it, maybe you'll like it!
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