Whacky Hormones Can Rock

I just got back from the pharmacy, after spending hours trying to talk myself into going, it wasn't that bad at all. My thermostat seems a bit off, but it didn't bug me too badly, worse when I got home and had the nerve to take out the bathroom trash & recycling.

I spent most of the drive contemplating my mood. Because it's good! I feel like I took a happy pill or something.

It was a crazy day. I woke up to a text from my friend who "helped" me with my medical records. He said I should've checked them, lol. Umm, yeah, that's why I went to your office to pick them up personally dude. My attorney said they received the files from them, and since he didn't give them to me, I assumed the Neuro files were in there. So I guess the buck really stops at my (former) attorney. (So glad they let me out of my contract with them!) I know I gave them the doctor's info and told them why those were important, and they knew I was having trouble getting them, I told them I was having them sent to another doctor and they'd send them, and when I asked if they got them they said yes. Oh well. What's done is done. I still have a chance to fix it. Of course it might take a couple of more years of my life...

Then my brother did me the huge favor of going to take care of the bill and ask about my paperwork, but something got lost in translation because he didn't even mention he had a check for them! So they ended up being really helpful, turned out they'd had the doc fill out the paperwork weeks ago, and sent that to me and offered to help in any way possible of he hadn't done it to Social Services' satisfaction this time. But then my payment didn't go through on the card I sent lasts night (which is why I sent my brother with the check instead) and I felt like a jerk. (Frustrating, but hey, at least he tried?)

Then on to deal with Social Services, where the Social Worker hadn't called me back all week, despite at least two messages, which is rote there. At this point, I have her supervisor's number handy, so I called her, who proceeded to tell me that she WAS there so she'd have her call me right back. After an hour or so, I got a call back from someone else saying she wasn't there! But he offered to help me, so after getting and faxing back another medical release form (I've faxed one to like 6 different places this week, lol, so that's why I say "another") he was able to assure me that yes, I would be getting my money this weekend. Which is a huge relief, because now I can pay the doctor on Monday, as well as get some gas & food if I don't recover enough to wash some pots and cook up the lovely myriad of legumes & rice I have left. Not that I feel like eating anyhow, lol. It's pretty great, actually, I'm finally losing a decent amount of weight. For the first time in AGES my hip bones are sticking out when I lie down, & I only have to suck in my tummy a litle and the belly's gone! Woooo! 15 more lbs to go! (I had a new supplement I was taking to help with that by regulating my blood sugar and all this stuff, but I'll save that for when I have food.)

Ha, I can't get depressed today. I started trying to feel sorry for myself, but I can't. I feel perfectly calm and serene. Yes, the events of earlier today had me a bit frazzled, but I got over it really fast. It's like I've lost the ability to get upset. So I was trying to figure it out. I'm extremely emotionally and physically worn out, so I was thinking maybe I'm just numb? But no, that feels uncomfortable. I feel inconceivably okay. So I'm thinking, it's GOT to be hormones. The same ones that had me raging angry last week, are now on the other end of the spectrum. I'll take it! (And can we bottle it somehow so I can inject it as needed in the future?) I was actually tempted to go to the Toga party I was invited to tonight, not dressed up or anything, but just to say hi and wish my friend a happy birthday, but nah. I'm not going to push it. I really want to get some of those dishes done, I really have to work on scanning my files because I have to return that thing in the next week (wish I could keep it, already having my files on my computer where I can find them; was amazing for my visit to the new clinic the other day!) and if I possibly can, I'd like to dye my darn hair. (I don't care so much about the roots, but the grey is ridiculous, I swear, all my grey hairs grow straight up for some reason, and the old ones are getting LONG. Hopefully the formula I have will work. Just figures, I've spent half my life trying to get my blah and resistantly dark hair a natural, non-brassy shade of brown, and now all I want to do is get the greys dark, and they don't wanna!) So hoping if I'm careful, get lots of rest and enjoy my temporary serenity, and if my Orthostatic Hypotension & POTS doesn't worsen, pain doesn't get past this level, etc., it will be a far more bearable weekend than I'd bargained for! Wish me luck!