Now, I don't know if it's because I'm depressed and apathetic or I subconsciously don't want because I know it'll exhaust me & make my back hurt, but I haven't managed to do them in weeks. I was going to have someone come do them, but I was feeling too sick to even deal with that, and then when I felt a bit better there were other more important things to spend that cash on.
Everything is a mess. Got my files from my attorney, all over the living room, plus books I sold the shelves out from under, lol. Files I was scanning all over the office area off the living room. Dining table has all kinds of random stuff. My room, ugh. Clothes & papers. Mostly clean clothes. Folding & putting away clothes kills me, I think I finally figured out why, it has to do with holding up my arms to fold & hang. I can't keep up with it. I think I'm going to move into the Master Bedroom, AGAIN, told my Mom sorry, if you end up here, I'm staying in there this time. (I started getting comfortable TWICE and then she came to stay for a bit and left.) That room is bigger, has 3 more windows/lots of light, whereas my room is kinda cramped, and I noticed when I was sleeping in there it was easier to keep them both clean somehow (maybe it was just because the bed was made in the other room? I dunno. Less stuff ended up on the floor, therefore it was more open looking & you could get around in it. Plus, on days bed is more comfortable than the recliner, I won't be sitting in the dark, I'll be stuck in the (now) most nicely decorated room in the condo, with lots of light and airy-ness.
I sent the paperwork back to the new attorney. Woke up way too early, anxious, so I started making phone calls. At least half a dozen later, I'd booked appointments for pretty much every week in November. 2-3 of them. (Thank goodness for my phone syncing with Google Calendar!) Oh, this is going to be fun. (Not!) Worried though, because the really important ones aren't until later in the month, and my appeal is due before then, so I probably won't be able to submit any new evidence from them. Maybe I can convince the Internist, who I'm seeing sooner to send me for some of the tests I wanted to get from the specialists. Well, hey, at least all the appointments will keep me busy and around people, maybe that will help my (since I got sick and broke) yearly holiday blues.
Kinda bummed the PT won't be until mid-November, my trapz are really making themselves irritating. Maybe when I see my PCP next week, I can convince her to let me see their Chiropractor in the meantime. (She'd told me to see how PT went first, but that's over a month away, and my first appointment with her for the referral for that was another two weeks back! 6 Weeks is a bit much to be in pain nearly every day and getting worse, no?)
Figured out for sure what the whole PMS angry thing is. Ever see those commercials for PMDD? Yup, totally what I have. The most surprising thing when reading up about it, was that I'd thought it was like a PMS Depression thing, but the most apparent problem seems to be...ANGER! So right on with what I've been experiencing. I was just fuming for hours yesterday, just like the day before, but worse. I didn't think it could be that time yet, but I checked my nifty new Period & Ovulation Tracking App, which I downloaded mostly for this reason, and yup, actually, almost on the dot, a week away. I think realizing that helped with the anger a bit, but the apathy is tough. I don't feel that bad and I was thinking I should totally try and go play some pool for a couple of hours (the great thing about pool is you can sit down between shots!) and see if I could hang out with the guys I met there last week, but even though I feel slightly crazy spending so much time alone I couldn't motivate myself. I'd also contemplated starting the gym again (I don't think I went the entire month, except for the massage machine, ugh, what a waste of $20!) super slowly though, but then I realized, I'll probably work up more of a sweat tidying up here, even if I split it up, and I know that will cheer me up to have the place presentable again. So I'll push myself on that instead of socializing or the gym....
Oh, but yeah...PMDD. It was hard to see what the treatment options were. I'm already on anti-depressants so...I think I saw one study about alprazolam, but it wasn't very specific. Maybe the OB/Gyn can help with that. Oh wait, that was the one appointment I didn't get to make, figures, they referred me back to my old PCP clinic, where the receptionist transferred me to a nurse, who NEVER answers, and rarely calls back. (Which is why they are my FORMER PCP) Oyyy. Pretty sure another November appointment though. I really hope I can keep up. I got exhausted just making the appointments today, I ended up going back to sleep around noon and waking up at almost 3pm! (Because my PCP was calling me back, they messed up and wrote my female well-exam results on the wrong chart so had to check where they were supposed to write the Ultrasound for, and then also wanted to tell me they faxed my Rx for the PT, which the PT scheduler insisted they needed, and my PCP's office insisted they didn't, lol. Hoops, hoops, and more hoops!)
So that was the day, today...Guess I'll write another post to update about my appointment Wednesday, not sure I said much about that, either that or I forgot some things....
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