Sleepydust Video

I guess I'd sent this to my cousin awhile back. The memory of doing it is lost in the fog, but she e-mailed me today, saying she saw it, and had no idea I was going through all that. The greatest thing she said though, was that she loved me.
That says everything. I really think it's impossible for most people (w/o FM/CFS) to understand just what I've been dealing with...Even I have to admit, that I would look at my MySpace & Facebook pictures, my smiling face and all the mischief, and think, well, she can't really by all that sick. What those pictures don't say is how I felt the next day or days, or that some of them are a year old, or that it was months before I went out with my friends and had a day as fun as the ones in those pictures again, that I retreated back into my cave guilty for having used all that energy for fun, or was too busy trying to get from day to day and survive, keep a roof over my head, to risk wearing myself out by going to a get-together or a party.
Or they don't realize at holiday get togethers, just how much it takes to put myself together so well,don't know how exhausting it was to do my hair, they forget about the makeup, don't know I bought my dress on sale for $7 or that my tights have runs, my 4 year old boots had to be carefully polished to hide the scuff marks & wear & tear,or that their tiny heels, worn for just a little while, had me limping the next day, and the inside of my cute purse is falling apart, all because I can't work a normal job, no matter how I long to, but I go through all the trouble because it makes me happy to look pretty every now & then.

So while I can hardly expect people to understand, that just makes me extra grateful when anyone catches a glimpse of it, and says those three words that mean everything, because sometimes it gets even tough to love yourself when you seem to be losing everything, and no matter how you rack your brain you can't find a way to fix it because your body won't allow it, so to know that someone you admire and hold very dear still loves you no matter what, that is a true gift :)

Here's the Sleepydust vid...if I posted it already, oops!