Well, it went better than I expected! Yup, I had to get up early, but fortunately it seems like the B-12 I've taken the last couple of days has eased up the POTS, so no dizzy spells or excessive stumbling around grabbing doorframes or walls waiting for my vision to clear and the vice-grip on my head to let up. Of course, I still lost track of time; in order not to stress myself and end up sweating and exhausted by the time I'm ready, I try and take things one at a time, and I inevitably lose track of time, but it worked out ok.
I was exhausted and frizzeldy brained & frazzled by the time I got there, had to wait a bit in the waiting room, put my head back against the wall and closed my eyes to try and calm my spazzy brain/body, and was embarassed when the receptionist called out my name, looked concerned and let me know the Attorney would be right with me. I put my headset on and started my meditation playlist on my phone for a few and that helped de-frazzle me.
My new attorney (old one left the firm) was very nice, and was as I'd hoped, gave of more of an air of maturity. (The last one seemed positively GREEN!) But with the new one, her maturity, professionalism, and thoroughness left me with a very good feeling. She asked me an entire list of questions as if she were the judge, and took very good notes. She was familiar with my judge and even stated she liked him, and she asked some good questions. It was a good experience.
When we were done, after a good hour, I was exhausted, but was perked up a bit once I walked outside. Something about actually having my feet on the ground in the City of Angels (or any city, really!) excites me, inspires me, makes me feel like the possibilities are endless. The same building houses Billboard Magazine, and given the writer in me, and my fascination and past experience with the music business, I had to sneak up onto the publisher's floor, sneak a peak and restrain myself from asking about employment opportunities, lol. One day, I hope to be published in one of their mags! One day, I say!
Still, I was tired, so I let the GPS take me home, nevermind that it was again insisting on taking me to the Golden State Freeay, which I'd avoided on the way there due to it's reputation of random accidents and traffic jams.
Made it home ok, albeit with a numb rear end, only to encounter the mess this place is again...and decide I didn't care, I wanted to lie DOWN!
I really hate it, this mess. But I'm absolutely too overwhelmed to do anything about it. I realized yesterday that it is probably depression rearing one of it's heads...the idea of cleaning makes me want to hide under the covers. And I think I figured out why. Cleaning=pain. What was puzzling me was, why was I able to help at my Mom's so much more? And I came to this conclusion: Pain is much more easily dealt with when you are distracted and have something to look forward to, which I was and did at my Mom's.
I have absolutely nothing to look forward to here. No one will see the results of my labor . There's no one to enjoy it with. Nowhere to go after (put every last cent I had in the gas tank to get to L.A. & back, and I don't know what there is to look forward to? Winning my case is about the only thing...and I'm not even sure what that outcome may be.
But yay, that's all over with and the hearing will be here before I know it!
Falling asleep now, so gotta go. Will post some articles on hair loss & FM/CFS tmo.
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