My Heart is Sore

Or at least I think that's what it is. I'd noticed some weird feelings in my chest since I got sick w/the fever & rash dealio, a funny feeling, like itchiness in my chest, sharp little pains when I inhaled too sharply, and it made me wonder if it was possible to get the rash on my organs, too.

But even after I started feeling better, I kept feeling this random soreness in the left side of my chest, it felt like muscle pain, but as it persisted I realized it there was something weird about it; it was in the wrong place! Now, I used to have a really demanding track coach, and I took weight-lifting for P.E., in fact, I could bench more than my own bodyweight at one time, so I know what sore pecs feel like, and this isn't quite the same. It's in the wrong place, and it's almost like an itchy, scar-healing sensation, along with being sore. Actually at one point today, it was driving me a little nutty, and it also started feeling like someone stuck a balloon under my left breast and was slowly blowing it up, just really uncomfortable. Plus, I've been waking up with really bad tachycardia, the second I sit up the slightest bit, my heart is racing so fast I'm out of breathe and all I can do is lie there.

I have a feeling what made it worse was the vacuuming I did Saturday evening...the darn fleas seemed to be multiplying so I figured I'd better vacuum again, and I was soo proud of myself when I finished! I was drenched in sweat, and it felt SO good. I can't remember if my heart was racing then, or if I was out of breathe, all I cared about was feeling victorious. To top that off, I managed a shower, which felt wonderful after all that. And then I do remember noticing my chest feeling sore again. Yesterday, I woke up feeling like hell...then last night I had trouble getting comfortable , my chest seemed to hurt if I lay down sideways but I found it hard to breathe if I lay down flat, grrr. Today I woke up feeling possibly worse than yesterday, less sore, but very swollen and battered feeling. Sigh. I started reading up on myocarditis caused by infections (mainly Coxsackie B viruses, oh yay.) and it seems to fit...called my cardiologist & she wants me to see my PCP. Earlier, the thought of driving the 20 minutes to go there (had planed on going to pick up a form & some medication waiting for me there.) just made me want to cry, but hopefully tomorrow will be better.  I guess Viral Myocarditis is usually minor, and just requires rest, but I DON'T HAVE ANYMORE TIME TO REST!! I'm so tired of resting and, of depending on the kindness of strangers. But even worse, the treatment if it's more severe includes all these meds and a low salt diet. I already have to cut back on salt a few days a month, and it's hell, so the idea of having to do it longer almost makes me want to cry! Oh well. I guess I'd better just stay calm. At least, I got good news about my case when I called the SSA directly (had  It is being expedited and was sent to the department that can make decisions or send it to trial) even if I can't get any word from my attorney...

So I guess I'll just try & stay comfortable & calm & take it easy & hope for the best...