Hi there. I should probably not be typing right now, but I'm bored silly and I keep stuffing my face even as I feel myself getting fatter, so I need a distraction! Sunday, even though my upper back stuff was still bugging a bit, I got frustrated, and told myself blah, it's just a a lil vacuuming. I'll live! So I vacuumed the master bedroom. Silly optimism. I soon had a burning shoulder, and felt like someone was sticking a crown of thorns into my neck on the right side. Switched to the left till I killed that one too. Last night I was in so much pain & discomfort, and nothing seemed to help; Heat, Ice, Rx-strength anti-inflammatory, hardcore muscle relaxant, Arnica Cream, Capsaicin Cream....and if I'd had no copayment I was thinking about hopping over to the ER...Haven't had pain this bad in ages! I think it's the messed up discs/pinched nerve, magnified by Fibro, because it ended up being that type of thing where I couldn't stand any pressure or even light sensation on it, plus, I think the Capsaicin really helped in the end, and that affects nerves to shut down pain soo... Finally got to sleep . Woke up better. But not for long. Within an hour I was to the point where I was doing yoga stretches, then I know it's bad! Helped a little, then I had to lie down, because even the back of the recliner was aggravating it, and it's amazing how much your arms weigh when your shoulders/back hurt just having them attached, all the little things you can do to aggravate them! Tried to watch depressing reality TV about overly fat people and overly skinny people... Yeah, I ended up making more phone calls, I couldn't take the inactivity. More hoops to jump through to get the specialist for my Endo, got referred to the wrong one again! Oh, let's not forget a shouting match with my social worker, who claimed not to have gotten my form yet, and then found it in her Inbox. That could have been that, but I made the mistake (more like right move) of asking her about the stupid Direct Deposit form I sent her 2+weeks ago! She said she had received it but knew nothing about them...and when I told her I'd assumed she did because they had sent me one a few months back, she started to get defensive so I told her, it's okay, just find out and get back to me, you can do that, right...ugh, it was just ridiculous. Long story short, I'm pretty sure it's not going to be set up for next month, but I kinda knew that, would have been okay with it if she hadn't made my heart rate shoot through the roof with her confusing shouting! Wow, scary this is starting to feel normal, but I just took a step back and thought, Wow, my world is SUCH a madhouse...Just utter madness. But what else to do but soldier on?
Just so long as this darn pain eases up, I'd forgotten it could be this bad. It totally makes my anxiety go up, especially when nothing is working. Usually it's just aches & pains, malaise, but somehow that's not the same as full-on pain. Tempting to try the gym tomorrow, because that same anxiety had me eat half a box of graham crackers...plus I can just do the recumbent bike and maybe that will ease the tension & help? Of course, the idea was to start back at a few minutes, so as not to piss off my heart/nervous system so not sure how well that would suit both purposes, ugh. Hate having to think about every little thing. Alrighty, my hands & arms are prickling, so I guess it's time to go for now.
Showing posts with label pain. Show all posts
Showing posts with label pain. Show all posts
Monday, October 24, 2011
Friday, April 22, 2011
Just another day...
Well. Isn't it funny, how when you WANT to sleep in, and CAN, you end up waking up early? I was stubborn, went back to sleep after a couple of hours, because I actually did feel really sleepy. And then when I woke up again, it was awful. I felt like I couldn't move, and it took me awhile to realize that it wasn't that I couldn't move, it was that it hurt to move.
My morning stiffness had gotten better for quite awhile, but lately it's back and with a vengeance. If I'm lucky it's limited to my fingers feeling like someone turned them into overstuffed sausages, but I've occasionally again been greeted by the feeling when I get up that my feet have been smashed to bits and may not hold me long enough to get to...wherever it is I'm headed! But today, it was every bit of me, from the fingers, to the point where my hips and spine meet, my knees, elbows, all felt like I was about 120 years old. I'm talking excruciating pain to move, like a rusted tin woman, which is why before I was fully conscious, since my mind couldn't register more than move=not a good idea, I thought I just couldn't move, but it was really some primitive instinct telling me I probably didn't want to, lol.
Fortunatley, once aware of this, I could move more slowly and carefully, and once the getting up was accomplished, I was okay, except for the sausage fingers, which lasted quite awhile longer. (Again, I think this was the case, I feel like I'm forgetting something else that hurt. See, this is why it's so hard to tell doctors just how bad I feel. In order to stay sane I happily forget any pain that isn't either excruciating, very consistent, or chronic for years.)
I don't know exactly what it is that's causing this to come back. That I quite taking my Inflatrol supplement (Ginger, Turmeric, Quercetin, Enzymes) because I ran out, or not taking Fish Oil anymore for a few months, or stopping the Immune Support supplement that was obviously helping my immune system function better. But anyhow. I still consider it a pretty darn good day. Not a ton of fatigue, after the sleepiness and proceeding nap. Not a ton of pain (though my wrists are nagging a bit at me while I type, that's almost not worthy of mention) feeling ok... Today the problem is mostly spiritual and mental.
Spiritual, because I spent most of the day feeling stifled, stuck inside, something I've been struggling with that I can't decide if to name depression, anxiety, uncenteredness, or just overwhelming isolation and stir-craziness. (Because certainly, being occupied and interacting with people makes it go away.)
Unfortunately, that part is mostly out of my control, and the mental, or rather cognitive part seems to be making getting occupied a problem, I think...I can't decide if my restless spirit won't let me focus, or if I'm restless because I can't focus. So frustrating, wanting to get something productive done, but being thwarted by either one. I'm leaning further towards my brain being the issue, because I've been having SUCH a hard time concentrating. Some work that should have taken me 3 hours or so took me more than double, that's how bad it was. Lots of walking around forgetting what I was doing, starting something new, forgetting that, remember two things ago, forget current, aahhh, just maddening. But the topper, was definitely when I went to meet a friend, knew that I'd opened the ravioli I was planning on having for dinner, but forgot about the water on the stove that I left ON, then proceeded to decide to have dinner out instead. I came home to the sound of a smoke alarm, then realized it was at MY home, not the neighbors, walked into a smokey, beeping condo which I almost burned down via Teflon pot. How's that for a good one? Oh well, I'd wanted to throw that thing out anyhow. Teflon is evil. If you don't believe the cancer reports about it, well here you have it, proof that it IS in fact evil: it tried to burn down my condo. ;)
My morning stiffness had gotten better for quite awhile, but lately it's back and with a vengeance. If I'm lucky it's limited to my fingers feeling like someone turned them into overstuffed sausages, but I've occasionally again been greeted by the feeling when I get up that my feet have been smashed to bits and may not hold me long enough to get to...wherever it is I'm headed! But today, it was every bit of me, from the fingers, to the point where my hips and spine meet, my knees, elbows, all felt like I was about 120 years old. I'm talking excruciating pain to move, like a rusted tin woman, which is why before I was fully conscious, since my mind couldn't register more than move=not a good idea, I thought I just couldn't move, but it was really some primitive instinct telling me I probably didn't want to, lol.
Fortunatley, once aware of this, I could move more slowly and carefully, and once the getting up was accomplished, I was okay, except for the sausage fingers, which lasted quite awhile longer. (Again, I think this was the case, I feel like I'm forgetting something else that hurt. See, this is why it's so hard to tell doctors just how bad I feel. In order to stay sane I happily forget any pain that isn't either excruciating, very consistent, or chronic for years.)
I don't know exactly what it is that's causing this to come back. That I quite taking my Inflatrol supplement (Ginger, Turmeric, Quercetin, Enzymes) because I ran out, or not taking Fish Oil anymore for a few months, or stopping the Immune Support supplement that was obviously helping my immune system function better. But anyhow. I still consider it a pretty darn good day. Not a ton of fatigue, after the sleepiness and proceeding nap. Not a ton of pain (though my wrists are nagging a bit at me while I type, that's almost not worthy of mention) feeling ok... Today the problem is mostly spiritual and mental.
Spiritual, because I spent most of the day feeling stifled, stuck inside, something I've been struggling with that I can't decide if to name depression, anxiety, uncenteredness, or just overwhelming isolation and stir-craziness. (Because certainly, being occupied and interacting with people makes it go away.)
Unfortunately, that part is mostly out of my control, and the mental, or rather cognitive part seems to be making getting occupied a problem, I think...I can't decide if my restless spirit won't let me focus, or if I'm restless because I can't focus. So frustrating, wanting to get something productive done, but being thwarted by either one. I'm leaning further towards my brain being the issue, because I've been having SUCH a hard time concentrating. Some work that should have taken me 3 hours or so took me more than double, that's how bad it was. Lots of walking around forgetting what I was doing, starting something new, forgetting that, remember two things ago, forget current, aahhh, just maddening. But the topper, was definitely when I went to meet a friend, knew that I'd opened the ravioli I was planning on having for dinner, but forgot about the water on the stove that I left ON, then proceeded to decide to have dinner out instead. I came home to the sound of a smoke alarm, then realized it was at MY home, not the neighbors, walked into a smokey, beeping condo which I almost burned down via Teflon pot. How's that for a good one? Oh well, I'd wanted to throw that thing out anyhow. Teflon is evil. If you don't believe the cancer reports about it, well here you have it, proof that it IS in fact evil: it tried to burn down my condo. ;)
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Origin of Chronic Pelvic Pain in Women Can Be Elusive - US News and World Report
Thought I'd post this since I had to deal with a flare of this over the weekend...
Origin of Chronic Pelvic Pain in Women Can Be Elusive - US News and World Report
Posted using ShareThis
Origin of Chronic Pelvic Pain in Women Can Be Elusive - US News and World Report
Posted using ShareThis
Friday, January 9, 2009
What a week! SOME good news though...
This has been one of my toughest weeks. Besides some very stressful goings on, I've had the worst flares I can remember in years, that is, that I didn't cause by doing something stupid. (Namely, going to a concert, and deciding to take horseback riding lessons, both of which had me laid up for a few days each.)Okay, well it wasn't completely not my fault...
Yup folks, this time, I had the gall to try and pick up a box of cat litter, and lift my own laundry basket into the cart to take it to the laundry room. Growing up with the whole attitude of "if any boy can do it, so can I" and having been a long-distance runner as a teen, & bench pressed more than my own weight in high school, I still feel slightly defensive asking for help with stuff like that. No matter what, there's always a voice in the back of my mind whispering "Sissy! Wimp! Girly-girl!" Ah, just another one of the many internal conflicts that come with Fibro for me. Intellectually, I know I need the help, and it's okay to ask, but deep down, I still feel like I'm being a baby.
Still, this week, there wasn't really any way around it. I had the store person put it in the cart for me, had someone help me to my car...but I wasn't speaking to the one person who could help. So that's what I get.
Hopefully, going to the gym will help strengthen my muscles a bit more. I just hate that it takes so long! You have to be sooo careful and take it so easy exercising with Fibro. Far from the no pain no gain attitude I learned as a kid (hmm... now I'm wondering if maybe I was in more pain than everyone else during track tryouts, lol! Different theories on how FM works. Some say it's triggered, some say it was always there...I did seem to have more than my share of growing pains...)
The only solution seems to be to keep at it always, but with all the upheaval in my life the last few years (sometimes I just don't have the energy...or I've got too much on my plate to risk overdoing it at the gym and not being able to take care of other business) coupled with flares where it's just not feasible (yeah, not going to the gym with heart palpitations, dizziness, & orthostatic hypotension, lol) that's been nearly impossible.
Still, I'm hoping this year will become the year when I will truly, finally, just be able to concentrate on taking care of myself.
Oh, the good news? I got the Ashwagandha, and it I could tell the difference in my ability to handle stress almost immediately, I knew it was diminished, but I hadn't fathomed just how much it was hampering me, how much overwhelm it was causing and how much that was slowing me down, so that's great. (Curious what my cortisol levels are like these days. They were on the low side almost two years ago...and these have been the two most stressful years of my life!)
Second, I just got the form back from my doctor which will allow me to get reduced rates for electricity! I can't wait to see just how much of a difference that makes, because the cold really kills my muscles, pain I can control so easily is one more stressor I could do without! (Hardly seems to matter how I bundle up, it's like my body senses the cold beyond the layers somehow, and I can feel the sting way deep inside my muscles. Ow.)
I've been feeling bad about running up the bill, but darnit, this is America. We don't go without heat or cooling just because it costs money. I mean, that's why we have it, so we won't BE cold. Or hot.
(That was one of my biggest shocks in visiting South America. I couldn't even fathom how someone would build a beautiful, custom built house and not install central heating in a place where it rains nearly every single day in December, and the temps are in the 40s...What can I say? Spoiled I guess. Maybe I could've handled it more gracefully if it didn't get me sick and keep me in constant pain? Or I'd at least had painkillers.Thank gawd for thermal waters. Dying to find some here!)
Oh. One more good thing. Finally going to be able to send for a 3 months supply of my anti-viral medicine from Hong Kong. Maybe it'll last longer, actually, since the doc had me cut back because I was feeling like I was getting the flu every single day, actually, more like 6 months supply then! Wooo!
Oh, and I did get the flares under control had to give the painkillers more time to work, up dosage a little. Muscle relaxer that I usually take at night helped a ton too, got desperate and took it earlier. (I guess more proof than stress/tension causes pain.)I went ahead & filled my last Gabapentin (Neurontin)rx, too, because I realized the pain made my cognitive dyfunction worse anyways, so if it would help, a couple of doses of Neurontin might not be so bad. It just made me think how awful it is that there are people out there w/FM & other conditions who have no choice but to take it constantly...And ask myself, what I would do in that situation. I guess if you have a choice of being loopy and being in pain, and being slightly loopier and being pain-free...it's pretty obvious which is preferable.
Yup folks, this time, I had the gall to try and pick up a box of cat litter, and lift my own laundry basket into the cart to take it to the laundry room. Growing up with the whole attitude of "if any boy can do it, so can I" and having been a long-distance runner as a teen, & bench pressed more than my own weight in high school, I still feel slightly defensive asking for help with stuff like that. No matter what, there's always a voice in the back of my mind whispering "Sissy! Wimp! Girly-girl!" Ah, just another one of the many internal conflicts that come with Fibro for me. Intellectually, I know I need the help, and it's okay to ask, but deep down, I still feel like I'm being a baby.
Still, this week, there wasn't really any way around it. I had the store person put it in the cart for me, had someone help me to my car...but I wasn't speaking to the one person who could help. So that's what I get.
Hopefully, going to the gym will help strengthen my muscles a bit more. I just hate that it takes so long! You have to be sooo careful and take it so easy exercising with Fibro. Far from the no pain no gain attitude I learned as a kid (hmm... now I'm wondering if maybe I was in more pain than everyone else during track tryouts, lol! Different theories on how FM works. Some say it's triggered, some say it was always there...I did seem to have more than my share of growing pains...)
The only solution seems to be to keep at it always, but with all the upheaval in my life the last few years (sometimes I just don't have the energy...or I've got too much on my plate to risk overdoing it at the gym and not being able to take care of other business) coupled with flares where it's just not feasible (yeah, not going to the gym with heart palpitations, dizziness, & orthostatic hypotension, lol) that's been nearly impossible.
Still, I'm hoping this year will become the year when I will truly, finally, just be able to concentrate on taking care of myself.
Oh, the good news? I got the Ashwagandha, and it I could tell the difference in my ability to handle stress almost immediately, I knew it was diminished, but I hadn't fathomed just how much it was hampering me, how much overwhelm it was causing and how much that was slowing me down, so that's great. (Curious what my cortisol levels are like these days. They were on the low side almost two years ago...and these have been the two most stressful years of my life!)
Second, I just got the form back from my doctor which will allow me to get reduced rates for electricity! I can't wait to see just how much of a difference that makes, because the cold really kills my muscles, pain I can control so easily is one more stressor I could do without! (Hardly seems to matter how I bundle up, it's like my body senses the cold beyond the layers somehow, and I can feel the sting way deep inside my muscles. Ow.)
I've been feeling bad about running up the bill, but darnit, this is America. We don't go without heat or cooling just because it costs money. I mean, that's why we have it, so we won't BE cold. Or hot.
(That was one of my biggest shocks in visiting South America. I couldn't even fathom how someone would build a beautiful, custom built house and not install central heating in a place where it rains nearly every single day in December, and the temps are in the 40s...What can I say? Spoiled I guess. Maybe I could've handled it more gracefully if it didn't get me sick and keep me in constant pain? Or I'd at least had painkillers.Thank gawd for thermal waters. Dying to find some here!)
Oh. One more good thing. Finally going to be able to send for a 3 months supply of my anti-viral medicine from Hong Kong. Maybe it'll last longer, actually, since the doc had me cut back because I was feeling like I was getting the flu every single day, actually, more like 6 months supply then! Wooo!
Oh, and I did get the flares under control had to give the painkillers more time to work, up dosage a little. Muscle relaxer that I usually take at night helped a ton too, got desperate and took it earlier. (I guess more proof than stress/tension causes pain.)I went ahead & filled my last Gabapentin (Neurontin)rx, too, because I realized the pain made my cognitive dyfunction worse anyways, so if it would help, a couple of doses of Neurontin might not be so bad. It just made me think how awful it is that there are people out there w/FM & other conditions who have no choice but to take it constantly...And ask myself, what I would do in that situation. I guess if you have a choice of being loopy and being in pain, and being slightly loopier and being pain-free...it's pretty obvious which is preferable.
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
Bad flare
I woke up emotionally drained, and by the time I'd been up for an hour I proceeded to emotionally exhausted. I also woke up with back pain. Usually, I don't wake up in pain. Well...stiff, and sore, but I don't count that. This was real, not going away even if you get out of bed & off your back back pain. I even got desperate and slathered on the hospital strength arthritis cream, but it wasn't enough.
I thought it was from all the stress, and maybe partly, but I'd forgotten that I lifted a couple of things I normally wouldn't yesterday, because there was no one around I wanted to ask for help. OUCH. Definitely was not being a wimp by asking before...Can't wait to start at the gym! It's going to be even less than I thought! I just have to go sign the papers to get started, so excited, especially about the sauna!
So anyhow, by evening the back pain had progressed to all over flare pain, especially bad in my neck. And it's so hard to get the heating pad around your neck...
But I have a secret weapon. It's very fancy. So fancy, I made it myself. A tube sock, filled with uncooked rice, some chamomile, and lavender oil, and tied off with a ribbon. Stuck it in the microwave for a minute, and voila! Nice. So warm. Sat down on my shiatsu massager.
Only it still didn't help. (Heat seems to be helping less & less lately, dunno why!)
I got so sensitive, too, the weight of the pad was hurting. But I was determined to get out, and right when I was thinking I needed to pick up some Thermacare hotpacks, I found one just sitting around. It was a different brand, can't find it right now, but I know it was way cheaper, and actually better, longer, fit around my neck & down my chest a bit, which was great because the little muscles there felt all cramped up.
It still hurt though. Finally after I got back from dropping off some books/DVDs at the library and trying to get a Thai Iced Tea to cheer me up and failing cuz I forgot my wallet (the pain was really interfering w/my thinking!) the muscle relaxer I'd taken as a last resort kicked in and I started feeling better.
Still, I need something for the stress, it's been too much. I'm to worn down. It's like my cortisol is so screwed up I go from 0 stress to 10 in an instant, and it's too much. I think I'm going to start taking this lovely herb called Ashwagandha again, even though it seemed to flare up the Endo problems. I first read about this herb, while doing a search for herbal treatments for FM & CFS a couple of years back. It is really amazing. I totally noticed how things that had formerly gotten me all stressed out, well, I'd feel the stress start to go up, but it would quickly hit a wall and peter back down to normal, such a relief.
The article I'd read said that people w/CFS should take that, and Kava Kava, and avoid stress at all costs for 4-6 months. Even if that were possible, dunno if it would work, but the Ashwagandha helped. (It's an adaptogenic herb, goes where your body needs it most, helps control stress/cortisol levels, gives energy while calming. Probably wouldn't have made it through my last "real" job without it.)
So here's a link to an article about it in case any of you are interested:
http://www.naturalherbsguide.com/ashwagandha.html
From: http://www.prohealth.com/library/showarticle.cfm?id=5115&t=CFIDS_FM
"Ashwagandha
Ashwagandha root, also known as winter cherry or Indian ginseng, is an important herb from the Ayurvedic or Indian system of medicine. Ashwagandha has been traditionally used for the treatment of debility, emaciation, impotence, and premature aging.(7) This dietary supplement is used to enhance mental and physical performance, improve learning ability, and decrease stress and fatigue. Ashwagandha is a general tonic to be used in stressful situations, especially insomnia, overwork, nervousness, restlessness, and chronic fatigue syndrome.(8)"
Oh, and yes, I did say it's good for calming AND for energy!
More here:
http://www.althealth.co.uk/help_and_advice/supplements/ashwagandha/
Quickly reversing the progress against pain by sitting here, so I'm gonna go...
I thought it was from all the stress, and maybe partly, but I'd forgotten that I lifted a couple of things I normally wouldn't yesterday, because there was no one around I wanted to ask for help. OUCH. Definitely was not being a wimp by asking before...Can't wait to start at the gym! It's going to be even less than I thought! I just have to go sign the papers to get started, so excited, especially about the sauna!
So anyhow, by evening the back pain had progressed to all over flare pain, especially bad in my neck. And it's so hard to get the heating pad around your neck...
But I have a secret weapon. It's very fancy. So fancy, I made it myself. A tube sock, filled with uncooked rice, some chamomile, and lavender oil, and tied off with a ribbon. Stuck it in the microwave for a minute, and voila! Nice. So warm. Sat down on my shiatsu massager.
Only it still didn't help. (Heat seems to be helping less & less lately, dunno why!)
I got so sensitive, too, the weight of the pad was hurting. But I was determined to get out, and right when I was thinking I needed to pick up some Thermacare hotpacks, I found one just sitting around. It was a different brand, can't find it right now, but I know it was way cheaper, and actually better, longer, fit around my neck & down my chest a bit, which was great because the little muscles there felt all cramped up.
It still hurt though. Finally after I got back from dropping off some books/DVDs at the library and trying to get a Thai Iced Tea to cheer me up and failing cuz I forgot my wallet (the pain was really interfering w/my thinking!) the muscle relaxer I'd taken as a last resort kicked in and I started feeling better.
Still, I need something for the stress, it's been too much. I'm to worn down. It's like my cortisol is so screwed up I go from 0 stress to 10 in an instant, and it's too much. I think I'm going to start taking this lovely herb called Ashwagandha again, even though it seemed to flare up the Endo problems. I first read about this herb, while doing a search for herbal treatments for FM & CFS a couple of years back. It is really amazing. I totally noticed how things that had formerly gotten me all stressed out, well, I'd feel the stress start to go up, but it would quickly hit a wall and peter back down to normal, such a relief.
The article I'd read said that people w/CFS should take that, and Kava Kava, and avoid stress at all costs for 4-6 months. Even if that were possible, dunno if it would work, but the Ashwagandha helped. (It's an adaptogenic herb, goes where your body needs it most, helps control stress/cortisol levels, gives energy while calming. Probably wouldn't have made it through my last "real" job without it.)
So here's a link to an article about it in case any of you are interested:
http://www.naturalherbsguide.com/ashwagandha.html
From: http://www.prohealth.com/library/showarticle.cfm?id=5115&t=CFIDS_FM
"Ashwagandha
Ashwagandha root, also known as winter cherry or Indian ginseng, is an important herb from the Ayurvedic or Indian system of medicine. Ashwagandha has been traditionally used for the treatment of debility, emaciation, impotence, and premature aging.(7) This dietary supplement is used to enhance mental and physical performance, improve learning ability, and decrease stress and fatigue. Ashwagandha is a general tonic to be used in stressful situations, especially insomnia, overwork, nervousness, restlessness, and chronic fatigue syndrome.(8)"
Oh, and yes, I did say it's good for calming AND for energy!
More here:
http://www.althealth.co.uk/help_and_advice/supplements/ashwagandha/
Quickly reversing the progress against pain by sitting here, so I'm gonna go...
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Getting Better
Well, Things are improving. My heart rhythm has normalized. Only two short episodes yesterday, and one today.
I had an unexpected little windfall, and got to go do a little Christmas shopping for those who are nearest and dearest. That made my weekend. It probably sounds a bit trite, but I really don't even mind that much if I don't get anything, it's the giving I love.
It seems I'm also going to get to do the Christmas Eve thing after all. Should be nice, I miss those peeps. Though I do have a bit of anxiety over the whole inevitable what have you been up to routine. Hmm. Well, nothing much...just being sick, losing my apartment cuz I can't work enough to make a living, getting sicker, having to move to another county with my Dad in a Senior Community, away from my newly constructed life, and then getting even sicker...Yeah, that one's definitely TMI.
The other strategy is to go with as much vaguness as possible, and/or whipping out my silver linings and highlight good sounding half truths and let you assume it's all good cuz that's what you want routine, lol.
Ah, life with chronic invisible illness...
The Fog has been kicking my butt this weekend. I couldn't seem to figure out why, what was different, it had been so much better for awhile there. Was thinking maybe the antiviral. Or maybe cuz I stopped taking some digestive enzymes I ran out of?
Then I realized, I took some Gabapentin for my cramps last week for a couple of days. Nothing else was touching them, even my normally low blood pressure was high (I'd never seen it high!) so I decided to try some Neurontin, cuz I was getting desperate, and VOILA! From one moment to the next, the nagging pain was just GONE. It was such an amazing moment. I'm not sure I even realized how bad it was until it was gone, and then suddenly I could breathe normally again and relax, it was like a weight had been lifted. Now I'm pretty positive it's that whole central nervous system pain sensitization deal, there was no reason for that much pain. My body's just blowing it outta proportion firing away w/the substance P or however that works.
But yeah, Gabapentin does a NUMBER on my brain function. I swear, today it was like I'd lost like 40 IQ points or something. I spent an hour trying to keep straight how many presents I needed for who, and they were all the same thing, only like 5 of them, just different colors! And as for making decisions? AHHHHH!!!!!!!
Oh, that reminds me of something I've been meaning to write about: The prevalence of Endometriosis in women with CFS & FM. I've seen figures as high as 50% of all women with Endo having FM or CFS as well. Interesting, huh? Even more interesting, my doctor, who believes a virus is at the root of CFS, claims that the viruses attack the male and female sex organs...
He asked me if I was sure I had Endo, I told him that's what they told me when they did the surgery to extract it...he went in and read the surgery report to me, and lo and behold...the wording the surgeon used seemed to intentionally avoid positively confirming that what she'd found was definitely Endometriosis! I thought that was pretty trippy.
Here's a related article:
http://news.bio-medicine.org/biology-news-2/US-researchers-find-endometriosis-associated-with-wide-range-of-diseases-6660-1/
Next time, I'll be blogging about my lust for electronic PT Type gadgets...I totally wasted some time, with feet killing me and exhausted, lusting over a vibrating neck heating pad (shoulders/neck KILLING me when I'm on here lately) and massaging slippers...Ah, to dream, perchance...
I had an unexpected little windfall, and got to go do a little Christmas shopping for those who are nearest and dearest. That made my weekend. It probably sounds a bit trite, but I really don't even mind that much if I don't get anything, it's the giving I love.
It seems I'm also going to get to do the Christmas Eve thing after all. Should be nice, I miss those peeps. Though I do have a bit of anxiety over the whole inevitable what have you been up to routine. Hmm. Well, nothing much...just being sick, losing my apartment cuz I can't work enough to make a living, getting sicker, having to move to another county with my Dad in a Senior Community, away from my newly constructed life, and then getting even sicker...Yeah, that one's definitely TMI.
The other strategy is to go with as much vaguness as possible, and/or whipping out my silver linings and highlight good sounding half truths and let you assume it's all good cuz that's what you want routine, lol.
Ah, life with chronic invisible illness...
The Fog has been kicking my butt this weekend. I couldn't seem to figure out why, what was different, it had been so much better for awhile there. Was thinking maybe the antiviral. Or maybe cuz I stopped taking some digestive enzymes I ran out of?
Then I realized, I took some Gabapentin for my cramps last week for a couple of days. Nothing else was touching them, even my normally low blood pressure was high (I'd never seen it high!) so I decided to try some Neurontin, cuz I was getting desperate, and VOILA! From one moment to the next, the nagging pain was just GONE. It was such an amazing moment. I'm not sure I even realized how bad it was until it was gone, and then suddenly I could breathe normally again and relax, it was like a weight had been lifted. Now I'm pretty positive it's that whole central nervous system pain sensitization deal, there was no reason for that much pain. My body's just blowing it outta proportion firing away w/the substance P or however that works.
But yeah, Gabapentin does a NUMBER on my brain function. I swear, today it was like I'd lost like 40 IQ points or something. I spent an hour trying to keep straight how many presents I needed for who, and they were all the same thing, only like 5 of them, just different colors! And as for making decisions? AHHHHH!!!!!!!
Oh, that reminds me of something I've been meaning to write about: The prevalence of Endometriosis in women with CFS & FM. I've seen figures as high as 50% of all women with Endo having FM or CFS as well. Interesting, huh? Even more interesting, my doctor, who believes a virus is at the root of CFS, claims that the viruses attack the male and female sex organs...
He asked me if I was sure I had Endo, I told him that's what they told me when they did the surgery to extract it...he went in and read the surgery report to me, and lo and behold...the wording the surgeon used seemed to intentionally avoid positively confirming that what she'd found was definitely Endometriosis! I thought that was pretty trippy.
Here's a related article:
http://news.bio-medicine.org/biology-news-2/US-researchers-find-endometriosis-associated-with-wide-range-of-diseases-6660-1/
Next time, I'll be blogging about my lust for electronic PT Type gadgets...I totally wasted some time, with feet killing me and exhausted, lusting over a vibrating neck heating pad (shoulders/neck KILLING me when I'm on here lately) and massaging slippers...Ah, to dream, perchance...
Thursday, October 30, 2008
The Power of GENTLE Movement, Breath, and Mindfulness: Great for Pain and Tension!
I recently moved and found this DVD I'd forgotten I had, that a friend had sent me. I thought it was great at the time, but I slipped out of the habit of doing it, and soon forgot all about it. I'm sooo bad at sticking to a routine! Maybe that, and the fact that the beginning can be a little challenging for me, especially in the mornings, so maybe forgetting was my subconscious way of worming out of doing it, which goes to show what a mess I am, because the beginning is just breathing exercises! But even that is hard for me in the mornings!
Anyhow, I can't do regular yoga. Even so-called Gentle Yoga leaves me sore and aching the next day. The only classes I've been able to manage are Relaxation Yoga or Yoga for Chronic Health Problems, specifically customized for me.
Still, Chair Yoga sounded a bit silly...But believe me, it's not! You're not seated the whole time, but you do use the chair for support and to modify postures. (Downward dog is one that causes me to pull/strain my hamstrings EVERY time. But the version on this DVD is PERFECT. Stretches, feels good, releases your lower back, and no injury/pain later.
If you listen & follow their instructions, you can literally let go of pain by releasing the tension in muscles. It's really pretty amazing. Not to mention, at the end I'm so relaxed that the modified Child's Pose sends me right into a state of meditation.
I'm thinking of doing this twice a day now!
Off I go!
Check it out:
P.S.~ I've got codes for free Online Rentals, so if you're on a budget but want to check this out, ask me! (I know what it's like to be broke and looking for some relief!)
Anyhow, I can't do regular yoga. Even so-called Gentle Yoga leaves me sore and aching the next day. The only classes I've been able to manage are Relaxation Yoga or Yoga for Chronic Health Problems, specifically customized for me.
Still, Chair Yoga sounded a bit silly...But believe me, it's not! You're not seated the whole time, but you do use the chair for support and to modify postures. (Downward dog is one that causes me to pull/strain my hamstrings EVERY time. But the version on this DVD is PERFECT. Stretches, feels good, releases your lower back, and no injury/pain later.
If you listen & follow their instructions, you can literally let go of pain by releasing the tension in muscles. It's really pretty amazing. Not to mention, at the end I'm so relaxed that the modified Child's Pose sends me right into a state of meditation.
I'm thinking of doing this twice a day now!
Off I go!
Check it out:
P.S.~ I've got codes for free Online Rentals, so if you're on a budget but want to check this out, ask me! (I know what it's like to be broke and looking for some relief!)
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