Autonomic Chaos

Okay, so maybe I'm exaggerating a  little, but then, I was sweaty & hot 10 minutes ago, now my feet are icy, even under the blankets! Having the worst POTS flare in years; tons of almost fainting, fluctuating heart rate, higher than in ages, low bp, even chest pain, and my personal favorite, that feeling that someone is choking you around the jugular.
Eating makes it act up, not to mention my stomach itself keeps spazzing out. I either feel like I just ate a rock, find myself in excruciating pain, have to run to the bathroom, or if I'm lucky, just feel queasy.

Getting tired of not getting things done. I need to find someone to help me, AND, I guess, a roommate.

Got really weak in the arms & out of breath (for awhile) just adjusting my pillow, which seemed ridiculous & has been happening a lot, anytime I raise my hands above my head, they get heavy and weak, and was comforted to find a post on Prohealth about plenty of ladies with FM/CFIDS having the same issue, struggling as much as I do, to do stupid things, like hanging clothes, putting their hair in a pony tail, or showering. It really helped me feel a little less like a loser, being reminded that it's really NOT just me, that all of us with these illnesses struggle with the same thing. But sad, too, that things are that bad and I'm on my own. But just for a second, because that's nothing new.

The roommate thing fills me with anxiety, considering the luck I've had, and I wonder if I ever will get to just truly rest....

Oh well. Maybe if I go get a saline IV tomorrow, it'll help. I wonder what caused this flare? Change in hormones? 30 mins on the treadmill twice this week? Some chronic infection coming out of hiding and taxing my poor body? Who knows. I should probably go get more testing done, but I think I'd have to go out of state.

Part of me just wants to run away, somewhere far, but l've made my home so cozy for myself, I hate to leave now...

Ugh, I'm hungry, but afraid to eat! Hope you all are hanging in there!