Here we are again...

Wow. Worn out. My immune system is falling asleep on the job these days. I have at least two infections that won't quit, probably another one that is just barely staying under the radar, and telltale marks on my torso probably from that sneaky cuplrit, that crafty little Coxsackie virus that has taken up a more permanent than welcomed place in my body.

The worst one though, seems to be a UTI I have that I'm betting has gone to my kidneys. More than betting, really. Although none has been as bad as that first one I had where I was half delirious, had to be helped out of my apartment to the hospital and had a fever giving my joint pain so bad I could barely walk so they brought me a wheelchair, I have to wonder if it's just a matter of perception. Back then, nausea was a symptom I found so unbearable I didn't eat for 3 days (I thought I had food poisoning or a stomach flu) fever was a rare occurrence, and I'd never had a kidney infection, just a handful of slightly alarming bladder infections.

These days, nausea has become just another of my ever-present symptoms, fevers come and go at will, and I'm all too familiar with my post Interstitial Cystitis diagnosis bladder infection symptoms. More than anything, I just feel weak. And aside from some pangs of pain and bloating, my most alarming (to me) symptom is that my POTS is getting aggravated. Even with my bp lifter, Mestinon, and my Metoprolol, I'm getting dizzy upon standing or sitting, and the same cause heart palpitations, if not tachycardia. I went to a stupid free clinic out here and got some antibiotics from a Nurse Practicioner with a bit of a hostile bedside manner. (She didn't want to give me Pyridium, later turned out that it seemed she didn't know what it was?!? Seriously?!?) And although I told her I was pretty sure it was already a kidney infection (I had to wait a few days to see her, & since the symptoms of IC are just about the same as a plain old bladder infection's...) she told me she'd do a culture & wait & see. (I have the suspicion that to diagnose a kidney infection, you need to do bloodwork, in addition to a urine sample/culture though, no?)

I finally coaxed my brother to lend me enough cash to go see my own doctors, an hour away (literally ran out of gas in front of his place after going to the pharmacy Saturday to get my beta blocker) so hopefully that will go well...although I'm nervous, because I'm afraid I won't be able to afford the antibiotic they prescribe me. (Checked the literature on my former one, which I finished, and apparently it does not have any effect on Kidney infections, fabulous!) So the day after finishing the stupid antibiotics, I go shopping with my brother for a new TV, and I'm sweating and hurting and feeling weak...back to square one. I'm seriously, SO. EXHUASTED. OF. THIS. CRAP.  Of everything being so complicated because I'm broke and underinsured... Jumping through hoops, begging, & pleading to get help when I barely have enough energy to go through the motions...Well, just a couple more weeks left now...and I'm not even sure I'm ready. Well, I know I'm not, because my lawyers wanted me to pay $750 to see an expert medical witness doctor type, which I obviously don't have...Sigh...Tired...