Why is it...

That I'm still surprised that folding laundry totally wears me out? My feet hurt, my legs are sore, my back is sore, I'm sweaty and out of breath (thought that might be my allergies, since the cat is in here). I'm exhausted, and it seems so crazy.

I asked myself the same thing a couple of weeks ago after a trip to pick up some groceries. How is it that something so basic wears me out? And then, how is it that I'm still surprised!?

I don't know...Maybe I just thought since I got a lot sicker for awhile, and even being on my feet was exhausting, that when I got better it would be better. But that doesn't really make sense does it? Because it was challenging before, too.

Sometimes I wonder if in that jumble of cognitive dysfunction there's some kind of disruption in the learning process. (I say this because I seem to also have a much harder time getting anything out of talk therapy anymore...it's like i forget what I learn, so I can't apply it, whereas before it would all click and I could use it, apply it, for years.)

I've had FM/CFS for 7 years now; albeit I've had my ups and downs, but I can't seem to accept so many of my limitations, and I really think it's caused problems with adjusting to my new life... I've gotten better about some things. I use my handicapped placard. I even use GoCarts at the stores if I'm not feeling great. I've learned to ask for accommodations when I need them. (I went to a concert recently and was amazed when I investigated accommodations just how easy it was to get them and what was available, and felt so blessed that they made it easier for me to go and enjoy myself doing something I used to do in my pre-illness days.)

But I still feel guilty asking for help with a lot of things, I still have frequent barely subconscious wars about whether I am letting myself get lazy, or I should try harder. I grew up being a tomboy. I liked to play with the boys, did sports, like running, hiking, mountain biking...I always believed I could do anything a man could do. And now I feel like such a wimp! I can barely carry my own groceries, nevermind the laundry!

Anyone else experience these issues? How do you cope?