One of those Days...

Where I feel like I'm treading water. I keep getting my head well above, and I keep getting dunked by a well-timed wave. UGH.

I'm bored silly. So restless I could cry. At the same time, I have hardly any energy. But I don't really have the will to live in the Virtual World anymore. I'm out of things to do there!

It's just been such a challenge today. I woke up early. Just completely awake, and tired. And angry. Feeling spiritually damaged. I'm so tired of the people closest to me letting me down. But I don't have much choice but to keep them populating my life. Still, I have the foreboding feeling that if I can't get away from all the hurt and end the cycle of forgive and get hurt again, I will soon become so bitter, angry; damaged, that I will cease to be who I am, I will lose the good, joyful, happy, BEST part of me, forever.

I managed to get back to sleep, and felt a bit better. Not so damaged when I woke up. But lots of things yet to go wrong. Mainly, not getting some money I was counting on, the idea of which had kept me going for days. There was medicine, supplements, and toiletries to get. Some foodstuff. But my doctor is being uncooperative. I hope he's not bent out of shape because I requested my records, thinking maybe I'm going to another doctor? I just wanted my new GP to have them, and a copy for me. Anyhow promises from his staff were left unfulfilled. And this, in turn, most likely means that I will lose certain benefits I was receiving and have to start the process of applying for them over again, meaning I will have no money until, perhaps, the end of the month, if I'm lucky.

I also got the joy of dealing with an annoying pharmacy tech who questioned if I was getting one of my meds at any other pharmacies, even after I said "no". (This is a pharmacy I go to regularly, everyone who works with the public there knows me... and could probably tell you that my habits indicate I'm not one to abuse my medications.) Yes, she was doing her job, but I'm so sick of being suspect of something I would/could never do: abuse the medications I use to manage my conditions. Makes me really miss my old, private doctors. They had my history right at their fingertips and could check my medication history and see that I've been using the same medications, in the same, small amounts, for years now, which wouldn't be possible if I were abusing any of the habituating ones.

Ah. Rant.

Well. I have to go see if I can gather up the energy to go to the store and spend all my remaining cash on kitty kibble. I do love that cat, allergic to her or not. I just wish we could cuddle more! Which I guess, if I stuck to this darn diet, I could. But I keep getting blue, and then I go after the nearest chocolate or ice cream I can find...