Just another day...

Well. Isn't it funny, how when you WANT to sleep in, and CAN, you end up waking up early? I was stubborn, went back to sleep after a couple of hours, because I actually did feel really sleepy. And then when I woke up again, it was awful. I felt like I couldn't move, and it took me awhile to realize that it wasn't that I couldn't move, it was that it hurt to move.

My morning stiffness had gotten better for quite awhile, but lately it's back and with a vengeance. If I'm lucky it's limited to my fingers feeling like someone turned them into overstuffed sausages, but I've occasionally again been greeted by the feeling when I get up that my feet have been smashed to bits and may not hold me long enough to get to...wherever it is I'm headed! But today, it was every bit of me, from the fingers, to the point where my hips and spine meet, my knees, elbows, all felt like I was about 120 years old. I'm talking excruciating pain to move, like a rusted tin woman, which is why before I was fully conscious, since my mind couldn't register more than move=not a good idea, I thought I just couldn't move, but it was really some primitive instinct telling me I probably didn't want to, lol.

Fortunatley, once aware of this, I could move more slowly and carefully, and once the getting up was accomplished, I was okay, except for the sausage fingers, which lasted quite awhile longer. (Again, I think this was the case, I feel like I'm forgetting something else that hurt. See, this is why it's so hard to tell doctors just how bad I feel. In order to stay sane I happily forget any pain that isn't either excruciating, very consistent, or chronic for years.)

I don't know exactly what it is that's causing this to come back. That I quite taking my Inflatrol supplement (Ginger, Turmeric, Quercetin, Enzymes) because I ran out, or not taking Fish Oil anymore for a few months, or stopping the Immune Support supplement that was obviously helping my immune system function better. But anyhow. I still consider it a pretty darn good day. Not a ton of fatigue, after the sleepiness and proceeding nap. Not a ton of pain (though my wrists are nagging a bit at me while I type, that's almost not worthy of mention) feeling ok... Today the problem is mostly spiritual and mental.

Spiritual, because I spent most of the day feeling stifled, stuck inside, something I've been struggling with that I can't decide if to name depression, anxiety, uncenteredness, or just overwhelming isolation and stir-craziness. (Because certainly, being occupied and interacting with people makes it go away.)

Unfortunately, that part is mostly out of my control, and the mental, or rather cognitive part seems to be making getting occupied a problem, I think...I can't decide if my restless spirit won't let me focus, or if I'm restless because I can't focus. So frustrating, wanting to get something productive done, but being thwarted by either one. I'm leaning further towards my brain being the issue, because I've been having SUCH a hard time concentrating. Some work that should have taken me 3 hours or so took me more than double, that's how bad it was. Lots of walking around forgetting what I was doing, starting something new, forgetting that, remember two things ago, forget current, aahhh, just maddening. But the topper, was definitely when I went to meet a friend, knew that I'd opened the ravioli I was planning on having for dinner, but forgot about the water on the stove that I left ON, then proceeded to decide to have dinner out instead. I came home to the sound of a smoke alarm, then realized it was at MY home, not the neighbors, walked into a smokey, beeping condo which I almost burned down via Teflon pot. How's that for a good one? Oh well, I'd wanted to throw that thing out anyhow. Teflon is evil. If you don't believe the cancer reports about it, well here you have it, proof that it IS in fact evil: it tried to burn down my condo. ;)

The Power of GENTLE Movement, Breath, and Mindfulness: Great for Pain and Tension!

I recently moved and found this DVD I'd forgotten I had, that a friend had sent me. I thought it was great at the time, but I slipped out of the habit of doing it, and soon forgot all about it. I'm sooo bad at sticking to a routine! Maybe that, and the fact that the beginning can be a little challenging for me, especially in the mornings, so maybe forgetting was my subconscious way of worming out of doing it, which goes to show what a mess I am, because the beginning is just breathing exercises! But even that is hard for me in the mornings!

Anyhow, I can't do regular yoga. Even so-called Gentle Yoga leaves me sore and aching the next day. The only classes I've been able to manage are Relaxation Yoga or Yoga for Chronic Health Problems, specifically customized for me.

Still, Chair Yoga sounded a bit silly...But believe me, it's not! You're not seated the whole time, but you do use the chair for support and to modify postures. (Downward dog is one that causes me to pull/strain my hamstrings EVERY time. But the version on this DVD is PERFECT. Stretches, feels good, releases your lower back, and no injury/pain later.

If you listen & follow their instructions, you can literally let go of pain by releasing the tension in muscles. It's really pretty amazing. Not to mention, at the end I'm so relaxed that the modified Child's Pose sends me right into a state of meditation.
I'm thinking of doing this twice a day now!


Off I go!

Check it out:






P.S.~ I've got codes for free Online Rentals, so if you're on a budget but want to check this out, ask me! (I know what it's like to be broke and looking for some relief!)