Showing posts with label meditation. Show all posts
Showing posts with label meditation. Show all posts

Sunday, April 10, 2011

Doable Exercise: Beat Fatigue with Yoga DVD

Found this DVD and decided to try it out. Found it was pretty good. Not all of it is quite as easy as Healing Yoga for Aches and Pains, but you have more routines to choose from, and there are even some you can do in bed, so it works out. I'm going to give it a long term try... And of course, if you want to buy it or check it out, click on the link below and go to my store. :)




Description
Beat Fatigue with Yoga' really is a unique DVD release. There are several DVDs available on yoga but most of them involve supermodels and perfect bodies. This DVD is for the ordinary person who gets tired; and that includes almost anyone. The programmes on this DVD are designed for people in different conditions. The DVD features Sue Delf, one of the UK's most experienced yoga teachers who teaches at the famous TRIYOGA centre in London and Fiona Agombar, author of the well known book also titled ""Beat Fatigue with Yoga."" Both have gentle and encouraging style, perfect for those just starting doing yoga, and those who already have a practice.

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Pets, Walks, & Reiki

Managed the trip to the vet. It was exhausting, emotionally and physically. I got my Father to come with me, but I guess he didn't get that I needed him there for moral support, and for help if I got tired or my brain went on the fritz. As it was he took about 15 minutes to find parking (I had him drop me off, they were doing a little construction, plus I was late and overheating, but it wasn't more than a 30 second walk) and hadn't gotten to the waiting room until after I was called in. (Kinda like my last trip to the ER, where he ditched me to make a phone call without letting me know he was leaving.) Ok, trying not to be bitter here. Just another reason I can't wait for my SSDI to come through though, so I can get some help around the house & running errands if I need it, hopefully, cuz I get about as much help here as I did when I lived alone.

Anyhow, I couldn't remember exactly when the last time kitty ate a whole meal was, and the doctor was putting the pressure on, telling me it was really important to know the exact time, because it was life & death, basically. It ended up being a huge ordeal, because all I had was $60, and they wanted to do X-rays, which were almost $200, plus blood work for another $150. I ended up getting her an IV, which has helped, she ate after we got home, and finally is sleeping, plus I found out cats can take probiotics, so I'm going to try that before I go back to the vet Friday.
I was so wiped out when I got home, it really makes me thankful I don't have human kids, as much as I adore & want them, I can barely handle a cat!

Pets are such a comfort to the chronically ill though! Lately when I'm feeling really lousy physically and don't know what to do with myself, I brave the allergies, grab my kitty, and make her cuddle with me, and I feel SO much better. Silly, I know, but whatever helps, right? She's been my constant companion all these years, I just hope all the sadness and strife haven't affected her too much.

Speaking of which, I had an amazing weekend. I started out Saturday, feeling stuck and resentful and not wanting to be in these four walls. I was trying to find a reason to get out, and I realized I could just make it to the gym...so I did, ten whole minutes on the recumbent bike, and a minute and a half on the arm cycle, woohoo! I left feeling SO much better, and decided to go walk in this parky area next to a creek, close by, find somewhere to sit and look at the duckies...I found them all splashing around, took pictures, got teased by butterflies, had a ladybug land on my phone...it was lovely. I even did something I can never manage, I had a relaxed walk!
So I did that, and had a sort of wandering meditation (well, I did find a rock overhanging the water to meditate on, and a backless bench to lie on & contemplate the blueness of the sky...then came home filled with joy and with the stuckness lifted. I was giddy, and had tons of (very sporadic) energy when I got home, and was tempted to just go continue meditating, hell, meditating my life away...I figured, hey, if it makes me that happy, and is that good for me, why not? It's not like I have a job to go to...Maybe the extra rest will do me good...

Then Sunday I went to a Reiki Class (an alternative healing therapy that sends energy through your body to heal your chakras & stuff) got & gave some healing, and had some interesting experiences. I left there feeling like none of the bad stuff matters, all barriers were down, and anything was possible. I felt like my writer's block was possibly lifted, fear dissolved, anger & resentments set aside, just free. And maybe a little altered, lol. Anyhow, now I can practice on other people. I'm not sure I have a great talent for it yet (although that might just be because some of my classmates were actual psychics, no fair!) and am not really up to doing it on people as work, but I think I'd like to try some distance treatments, so if anyone wants one, let me know.

Friday, October 23, 2009

Sometimes I so want to go all Buffy the Vampire Slayer on CFS

That's how I felt today.
I just had a compelling urge to karate-kick CFS. But, unfortunately for me, it's invisible! And not only that, it's an illness, so you really can't, I mean, maybe if it was Cancer or something, you could remove a tumor, put it in a jar, and do it, or the karate-kick could take the form of radiation or chemo, but, that's probably not gonna do much here.

I guess I was just upset. I needed to do some research online, and my father wasn't home with his laptop, and my body was sending me the really annoying, barely perceptible but extremely insistent message that I should lie DOWN! ASAP! And I was trying to keep on doing what I was doing, but I couldn't focus, and I kept feeling worse. That's Orthostatic Intolerance for ya.

Grrr. Finally, very frazzled, I got up and lay down. But the frazzled wasn't going away, and I just kept wanting to karate-kick SOMETHING. I couldn't hold still, and I was just so frustrated. Finally a little desperate and unable to lie still, I put on some meditation music.

That has been my saving grace lately, meditation music. Something about those frequencies of sound seem to penetrate and resonate deep within me, and smooth out all the chi that is wrinkled, depleted, or bouncing off the wall. Okay, so I may have taken a Xanax as well. It seems to be a typical thing with me. I get worn out, and I know the only thing that will help is rest, but my mind is still bouncing off the wall, and I can't rest, I keep thinking of things I wanted to get done, or feeling like I should be multi-tasking. Being productive used to be my favorite thing, what made me ME. And now it seems it just drives me slightly mad. Or maybe it's what keeps me going? I can't seem to decide. This week, it seems like I've gotten a whole lotta nothing done. I can't seem to focus. And then, I get tired before I've managed to redirect and refocus to get anything done...I was feeling a bit better after laying there, listening to the music, half conscious, for who knows, an hour or so...

Then I went to the doctor. This doctor, he drives me crazy. I go in, and he asks me what I want him to do for me, like seriously. Not like, "Hi there, what can I do for you today hun?" But I tell him what's wrong, and then he asks me, "Okay, so what would you like me to do?" "Umm, I I was kinda hoping YOU could tell me that?"
(I had a UTI.)
Last time I was there, because he told me to follow up on some test results (for the third week in row, they'd always mess up, or not do them all, or...) And he asks me, "So what medication would you like refilled?"
I look at him, kinda confused...
"Vicodin?" he offers.
I tilt my head and look at him, and say, "Uh...no...that's okay..."
(Did I mention when I went online to check this guy out, there was a blurb from someone saying how he seems willing to give out prescriptions like candy?) I only went because he was one of only two doctors locally who take the County Sponsored insurance plan I'm on...and I already didn't like the other one. Her English sucked.

So I'm thinking, okay, so everytime I go he wants to run tests, take the same x-rays over and over again, and he offerred me Vicodin and I refused. So the last thing I figured I'd have to deal with is him accusing me of drug-seeking...

Well, not quite that, just when I asked him for the scrips, he told me these drugs were addictive, and if I wasn't already I would be addicted to them, and didn't let me get a word in edge-wise until he asked me what I would do if he didn't give them to me...(I'm going to a concert tomorrow, a very big deal for me, and one of the situations where I just take medication because I KNOW I'll be needing it...I rarely take hardcore pain killers when I'm at home, mainly, I use them for when I have to go somewhere, which is why 30 pills last me about 3 months...Normal dosage is 1 every 4 hours, and if I take 2 in one day it's a rare occurence, last time, it was pain from the UTI that wouldn't leave and only after Tylenol ceased to cut it.)
Haha, so do I sound defensive already?

You bet. I live with an illness nobody understands and that (at least at the moment) is invisible to the eye of any casual observer, but that a specialist was quoted in the New York Times as saying that she would prefer to have AIDS than have, because her AIDS patients are healthier than her CFS patients, and most of them can work and have a normal life, while the CFS patients mostly can't!

(Incidentally, I have to agree...If you have AIDS there are so many programs, too. Programs to give you medical care for it, programs to help you pay for your medications, programs to give you a place to live...and if you do get full-blown AIDS, I don't really see a Disability judge turning you away, saying you are too young, or your doctor is being overly generous in his assessment of your disability. So...)

Okay, sorry, this is beginning to sound like a whine-fest. I said I got defensive!

Everyone's going all crazy about this XMRV virus...but at this point I'm afraid to even get my hopes up. Besides, I already know I have another virus, and I can't get the medication for THAT, because I can't afford it. Incidentally, it's an AIDS and Hepatitis med. And if you have AIDS, and can't afford it, they'll hook you up. But if not, you're outta luck.

As for my doctor, I explained to him that I hadn't taken the Vicodin in two weeks, and hadn't experienced any withdrawals, plus, 30 pills lasts me at least a couple of months, and the other med, I take only at night and have gone without for 3 nights, at worst, I got to sleep a bit later, and if he liked I could bring in my medical records so he could see that I take them only as much as I say, and call my previous doctors. Grrr.
How ironic that he was offering me pain meds I didn't need last time!?!
Thank goodness the other reason for my visit was to get a referral to a Rheumatologist! (He looked surprised, asked what for, and looked surprised again when I said, "Because I have Fibromyalgia..." Yup. Seriously. That's why I took my records with my original diagnosis of FM from back in 2002.)
They can take care of all my meds, and hopefully I won't have to go back there for a VERY long time! (Fingers crossed.)

I so wish I could go in that mosh pit tomorrow. Concerts used to be such a release for me...Ah, well, I'm just happy to be going :)