A Pain in the Neck.

Hi there. I should probably not be typing right now, but I'm bored silly and I keep stuffing my face even as I feel myself getting fatter, so I need a distraction! Sunday, even though my upper back stuff was still bugging a bit, I got frustrated, and told myself blah, it's just a a lil vacuuming. I'll live! So I vacuumed the master bedroom. Silly optimism. I soon had a burning shoulder, and felt like someone was sticking a crown of thorns into my neck on the right side. Switched to the left till I killed that one too. Last night I was in so much pain & discomfort, and nothing seemed to help; Heat, Ice, Rx-strength anti-inflammatory, hardcore muscle relaxant, Arnica Cream, Capsaicin Cream....and if I'd had no copayment I was thinking about hopping over to the ER...Haven't had pain this bad in ages! I think it's the messed up discs/pinched nerve, magnified by Fibro, because it ended up being that type of thing where I couldn't stand any pressure or even light sensation on it, plus, I think the Capsaicin really helped in the end, and that affects nerves to shut down pain soo... Finally got to sleep . Woke up better. But not for long. Within an hour I was to the point where I was doing yoga stretches, then I know it's bad! Helped a little, then I had to lie down, because even the back of the recliner was aggravating it, and it's amazing how much your arms weigh when your shoulders/back hurt just having them attached, all the little things you can do to aggravate them! Tried to watch depressing reality TV about overly fat people and overly skinny people... Yeah, I ended up making more phone calls, I couldn't take the inactivity. More hoops to jump through to get the specialist for my Endo, got referred to the wrong one again! Oh, let's not forget a shouting match with my social worker, who claimed not to have gotten my form yet, and then found it in her Inbox. That could have been that, but I made the mistake (more like right move) of asking her about the stupid Direct Deposit form I sent her 2+weeks ago! She said she had received it but knew nothing about them...and when I told her I'd assumed she did because they had sent me one a few months back, she started to get defensive so I told her, it's okay, just find out and get back to me, you can do that, right...ugh, it was just ridiculous. Long story short, I'm pretty sure it's not going to be set up for next month, but I kinda knew that, would have been okay with it if she hadn't made my heart rate shoot through the roof with her confusing shouting! Wow, scary this is starting to feel normal, but I just took a step back and thought, Wow, my world is SUCH a madhouse...Just utter madness. But what else to do but soldier on?

Just so long as this darn pain eases up, I'd forgotten it could be this bad. It totally makes my anxiety go up, especially when nothing is working. Usually it's just aches & pains, malaise, but somehow that's not the same as full-on pain. Tempting to try the gym tomorrow, because that same anxiety had me eat half a box of graham crackers...plus I can just do the recumbent bike and maybe that will ease the tension & help? Of course, the idea was to start back at a few minutes, so as not to piss off my heart/nervous system so not sure how well that would suit both purposes, ugh. Hate having to think about every little thing. Alrighty, my hands & arms are prickling, so I guess it's time to go for now.

Another Day, Another Doctor!

Well, okay, so Physician's Assistant, not quite doctor, though she did need some help from the doctor in the end. More tests. More reasons to get more tests. Apparently now I get an ultrasound of my chest, too, apparently a slightly worrisome spot on one of the girls. Yeah, I'm not worried. At worst, Cancer, and a way to finally convince the government I'm sick so I can get some peace of mind and treatment for EVERYTHING (I watched my grandmother die of Cancer, and I really don't think it's all that much worse than what I've been through already) and if I don't survive that, well darn. I'd be put out of my misery with the comfort of knowing it was meant to be. I swear, not trying to be pessimistic, that's simply how I see things...

Unfortunately, since I was getting this care under one freebie program, the PA couldn't discuss the results of my tests covered by the other freebie healthcare program, so now I have to go back next week, again, for that. They did however, give me the new referral authorizations to replace the ones to the doctors that don't take my freebie health county program. A Cardiologist for the POTS, & OB/Gyn for the evil Endometriosis. (Neuro, for Spine & POTS if the Cardio doesn't help, is already booked, for over a month from now, but I'm hoping the Cardiologist will help, I checked out their website, and they do have a lady who specializes in Arrhythmias & Syncope, soooo...yay!) PT was a problem though, the "insurance" wouldn't change it, and it's simply too far for me to make it there often. Plus, the place I was trying to change it to (around the corner) wants a prescription, ugh. Hoops! Always with the hoops! I guess tomorrow I'll be on the phone with everyone myself to try and get them to help me out with that. Doctors & Lawyers & Social Workers, oh my! I did finally get rid of a couple of boxes of insulin needles that were too small to use with my Vitamin B-12, and scheduled two MORE appointments at the same clinic for those test results (Cuz it would kill them to give them to me over the phone? I know they're a non-profit, but jeez. Just tell me the results and I'll Google them, lol. Nope, they gotta get paid, and I get it kinda. Sorta. Still dumb.) and another for the counselor, whose appointment I missed after running out of gas on the freeway last week. It would be nice to have someone to call when I'm angry at life and can't think of the reasons to stick around, and to help me figure out how to keep my mother from making me feel like crap. (Ah yes, a nice visit, a gift of some fabulous slipper things for my achey feet and calves, and helping me pay part of my doctor's bill and apparently that gives her the right to irk the hell out of me. Maybe this is why I'd just prefer to keep to myself?)

So that might be helpful...If I have gas to get there, lol. Oh jeez.

Had a thought today about the tingling in my hands & feet. Maybe it's the pinched nerve/bulged discs? Looked it up, and definitely possible with the hands, or at least one of them, but not so much the feet. I think it's definitely more Dysautonomia stuff after all...maybe to do with circulation/low blood volume? My trapz were tingling like crazy the other night, mostly from sitting up watching TV while trying to setup my Mom's new phone for her, and on touching it I realized it was cold. (She'd had the heater on extra high to dry her sofa she'd just cleaned, & I was hot, actually.) Could be attributed to Fibro, too, as they've done scan on people w/FM showing low circulation in painful areas, but then we go back to the chicken or the egg conundrum...maybe the low blood volume is caused by something else (Virus? Dysautonomia? A virus that caused Dysautonomia?) and then FM is just another symptom manifestation...

Tired now. I'm thinking the Elavil experiment is not working, cuz I woke up that way...Besides pointless now, that I don't have the money to buy any CoQ10 to supplement. Might as well take it until I have that. I think that's what I shall do.